When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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