Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she smelled like a LAN party
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize