got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sobbing to NWA
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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