I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize