the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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