Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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