the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize