I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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