So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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