I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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