idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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