Do you still have your period?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize