Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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