I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize