i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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