i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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