I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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