So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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