Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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