The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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