My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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