his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize