We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize