the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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