We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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