Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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