You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sext me about skeletons
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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