No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize