Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize