This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize