thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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