Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize