Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize