did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize