pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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