the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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