i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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