she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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