so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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