You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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