I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize