I wish I could punch you in the face.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am naked and annoyed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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