i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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