I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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