I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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