I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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