That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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