if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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