the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize