go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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